The Containers of Always

September Diencephalon

A home movie of when our blood leaves our bodies.

I wanted. This is about you! I wanted. This is a mirror! I wanted. Let me ask you, do you think all of this is

entertainment? I wanted. Those two words say it all. Nothing holds me. When I get something, I’m never happy with it

for very long. I always want more, or just something different. I asked my mom if she would get me a Friend after I

watched Sit next to me as we age together. Do you want to watch with me? Let’s watch now.

Sit next to me as we age together.

The following is a virtual friend simulator.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

Three Serpents Virtual Friend Simulation Service

Presents

Sit next to me as we age together.

September Diencephalon

Featuring Emma Friedman-Buchanan

As Friend

A body buried in sand. Paul V. Buchanan was awakened today, his 70th birthday, with kisses from his nameless dog.

He would have long one-sided conversations late into the night cuddled next to his love, his unnamed listener. He

was awakened by warm, damp licks all over his wrinkled face. He got out of bed, performed his morning stretches,

lifted his weights and poured a cup of coffee before sinking into the hot bath water. He brushed the dog hair off his

coat and put on his waterproof rain boots. He absolutely could not stand wet socks and made his way to 1000 Fifth

Avenue. He always walked no matter how bad the weather was. He didn’t like the subway. Being underground gave

him tremendous anxiety. There was something about the mechanized rapid transit system that made him feel

unhuman. People arrived early this morning from all over the world. The line to enter was long as usual. Snow was

falling from the sky and he stuck out his tongue and tasted the cold ice crystals like he did when he was ten. His

grandson Paul III was born ten years ago today, sharing the same birthday.

Paul III’s grandfather Paul V. tried to make meaning out of the meaningless. He believed God was watching him,

closer to him than his jugular vein. He would wake up from nightmares of being compacted. The closer to death he

got the more he thought about the people he would leave behind. At his grandfather’s funeral Paul III recalls his own

flesh later in life. He decided to write a story set in the past. Paul III lives in a civilization where clothes only cover

people’s faces. His story told how Michelle waited in the woods while he traversed battlefields in his mind and won

great victories. At last coming home where she was waiting, waiting for him in the woods. They can’t see each other’s

eyes because of the clothing covering their faces, the only remaining piece of privacy anyone has. And so, they

thought the story ended. He whispers to her, and so, you thought the story was ending. But wait my love, my

grandfather was born on December 3, 1948.

Paul V. got his first puppy at 20, the same year he started bodybuilding, after reading Sun and Steel by Yukio

Mishima. He got married at 25. His first son was born when he was 30 and his first grandson at 60. His grandson

Paul III is now ten years old and sits staring at something somewhere in the world. They think about each other all the

time. The last time Paul V. saw Paul III they hugged. He told his grandson, he hopes he will have a beautiful life. He

will probably never see him again. Every Monday and Tuesday Paul V. was surrounded by the world at his favorite

place on Earth. The Metropolitan Museum of Art. He would sit in different locations throughout the museum and

enjoyed it when people would sit next to him. Rarely would he engage in conversation. He simply would smile and

appreciate sitting next to another human. His favorite room was Gallery 634 which contained Self-Portrait by

Rembrandt dated 1660. He watched the still eyes of Rembrandt and listened to the sounds of the museum. Today on

his birthday, at 70, he decided to start a diary. He wrote that he suffered frequent illnesses in his youth and lacked the

love of the living. He wrote about the people he saw and drew their faces. Paul V. unescapably drew upon the

friendship of things that are not.

He restarts again. Paul III writes a story in the past, a story about how we all sought. Eyes are sequestered behind

cloth; a mouth is secretive and the pattern of freckles on a face are veiled. The rest of the body is exposed. A nude

face generates sexual arousal now, a yearning. The sight of genitals generates as much excitement as an unadorned

hand. Paul III’s dearest Michelle left all who loved her, drifting through the woods, ever desiring. She finally found him

and accused him, and so, the story ended again. Paul III came home and woke up. He restarts again. Michelle and

Paul III slowly remove the clothing on their faces. Paul III looks into her eyes and they both become stimulated.

Michelle read the story about herself. They did not speak, they watched, watching dilated eyes and making love with

only touching the tips of their tongues. They have sex slowly, tongues on tongues. They kiss and they both orgasm at

the same time. They did not say, they did not speak. Kissing is sex now, a sad, beautiful story that made her weep

while she read it. Everyone must repeat, again and again, that the face is private, not to be shown in public, but it was

a beautiful story being retold.

Paul V. had a twin brother who lived in Illinois. He had to come out of retirement and work as a Walmart greeter

before he died of pancreatic cancer. His cancer extraordinarily originated. Without excluding his genetics and age it

could not have been created more perfectly. Intrusive relatives have said, that everything originates abnormally and

ends peculiarly. A perfect disease is peculiar, so is an imperfect disease. He knew about the evaluations from his

doctors, he read them, they existed, biting his fingers it all became very secretive and at the same time breathtaking.

Everything becomes a miracle when you consider oblivion. However, in all humility, his grandson is the greatest

miracle he had ever seen. He knew his voice was dry and had that sticky feeling when he spoke. He apologized to

his nameless listener. A bark sufficed as a reply.

Paul III writes a story in the present. His family goes to the bathroom in public and they eat in private stalls with locks

on the doors. He recalls his daughter Patricia in a chair, stealing a brief sleep, looking strong and fragile

simultaneously, with so much to do, more than her share, more than can be done. He sees her in the distant future

and she no longer ages and she will never die. He puts his facial clothing back on and goes outside. His family are

wearing their face clothes. Paul III’s wife is slicing red, yellow and green peppers, onions, squash and mushrooms for

the grill. Paul III grills in the backyard and the steaks go on last after marinating in the refrigerator. He writes a story of

that moment, saying, he sees you. Worn out but willing, like a good elderly man, a good drone, unable to sting,

unable to gather pollen or nectar. His family says that the food smells amazing. Paul V. whispers to him from the

past, he can never go out into the garden anymore and he is sad. He can never go out to the garden anymore, why?

Paul III’s family plates up their food and goes inside. Paul V., why are you are weary to the bone of your drone

physique at the end of every day? They go to our separate stalls, closing the doors and eating. As he writes, he

wonders. They go back out to the living room with their porcelain toilet in the middle. Did anyone ever look at me and

see me that way? That was a delicious meal, Patricia said. Yes, he thinks and remembers that he looked at his

mother the same way his daughter is looking at him now.

Paul V. whispered to Paul III. He tells him about this shape he keeps seeing as he is walking to 32 2nd Avenue. He is

on his way to watch a movie today. The shape is really skinny like a skeleton with 24 carat gold glasses on the

outside of their face clothes. Three serpents slither out from underneath the fabric and laugh. He believes that

underneath the clothing the shape is always smiling. He doesn’t know though. He was as weary, as you are, about

the future. He looks down and looks back up at it and it still seems like it is smiling. The shape carries a reusable

grocery bag and walks with one arm behind its back. Three serpents slither out, were they angry? He ran up the

stairs of Anthology Film Archives. He did not know how to tell this story. He went and tried to find the shape again. It

does not end. He didn’t have the courage yet to ask it a question.

Paul III’s mother told people that when she was pregnant with him she had never liked orange juice but while he was

growing inside her she couldn’t get enough of the stuff. Paul III lifted the lid of the laundry basket from the inside

where he was hiding. He peeked around and no one was in his mother’s bedroom. The floral bedspread seemed

particularly faded by numerous washings and being hung outside and exposed to drying from the sun. The

bedspread absorbed the smell of the tomato garden near the laundry line. Paul III jumped out from the laundry basket

and went over to the bedspread and stuck his face into it and took a deep inhale through his nose and exhaled

slowly. He turned around and looked at himself in the mirror and saw his reflection. He didn’t feel like a six-year-old

boy. His mother was an art history teacher and had a bookshelf full of painters and sculptors. Paul III’s favorite was a

book on Matisse. In the book there is a photograph of Matisse in his studio with a model. Paul III was fascinated by

this image. The model was nude and she had hairy armpits and a hairy vagina. Paul III would stare at this image for

hours in his room without his mother knowing. Looking at the photograph made him feel a sensation unlike any he

had ever felt before. After his eyes started to hurt he would go into the kitchen and tell his mom he was hungry. She

asked what he would like to eat and he said Cookie Crisp and hot dogs please. Paul III’s mother was used to these

strange requests. Another frequent request was eggs and strawberry jelly. The strawberry jelly his mother made

herself from scratch with strawberries she picked. So, she obliged Paul III and said OK. She told him to go sit at the

kitchen table. What do you want to drink Paul III, his mother said? Orange juice, he said. She brought over the hot

dog in a bun with Cookie Crisp sprinkled over the top along with a glass of orange juice. Paul III hears a knock at the

door and it is his father coming to pick him up for his every other weekend visit. Paul III and his dad stop at a gas

station and his dad buys him a 16 fl. oz. plastic bottle of Coca-Cola. They leave the gas station and Paul III takes a

drink of the soda and spills it but his dad didn’t see it happen. After about five minutes of driving on the Interstate his

dad notices that Paul III has spilt the Coca-Cola all over himself and the seat. His father pulls the car over on the

Interstate. He gets out of the driver’s seat and storms over and opens the passenger side door and pulls Paul III out

of the car on the side of the Interstate with cars speeding by and pulls his wet, Coca-Cola stained pants off and uses

the pants as a rag to soak up the soda all the while screaming at Paul III. Paul III is soaking up the Coca-Cola

wearing his underwear. He is crying. He cries so much he passes out on the side of the Interstate. While he is asleep

he dreams a song that he would later sing. It was about his future great-granddaughter Patricia, whom he will never

meet. Paul III starts to sing the song called This Girl Is Our Guest, This Girl Is Our Guest, This Girl Is Our Guest.

The three serpents ask her how long she has been here?

She apologized for looking at her phone for so long and falling asleep, she said her name is Patricia.

She was sure they had heard of her before, because according to her proclamations, she was famous.

Her friend wanted her to go pick some fruit for a pie.

She wasn’t busy so she agreed.

She got her reusable grocery bag and her phone, said goodbye to her friend and headed out the door.

After picking fruit she started walking home and stopped to take some photos to post.

She was so tired from walking she decided to look at her phone and rest under a tree.

She knew her friend wouldn’t mind that she was a little late.

However, she accidentally fell asleep.

She was sleeping soundly until she was rudely and unpleasantly awakened by three mysterious serpents.

Who are you, she asked.

We are the three serpents.

I’m One, this is Two, and that is Three.

We kidnapped you in the woods.

We are going to hold you hostage until your friend gives us ransom money.

Well, if you’re going to hold me hostage then you’re going to have to feed me or I’ll starve.

Did you hear that One, she's hungry, that’s cute, said Three.

Well, give her some of those leftover mice from last night, said One.

Looks good, she said, let me have it. She took a big bite of a mouse.

Gross, it's cold, this is disgusting, she said.

Oh, it's cold is it, well fine, warm it up in the microwave One, said Two.

Yes, my love, said One.

Patricia told them thank you and once again took a bite of the mouse.

Ouch, Ouch, Ouch.

It's hot, she said, too hot, it hurt her mouth.

Why did you warm it up so much, do you want to kill me, wait, don't answer that question, she said.

Well, anyway, I've lost my appetite.

Fine, don't eat, said Two, if you're not going to eat then we'll have to tie you up to the chair.

Sit in One’s chair, said Two.

No, this is my chair, said One.

After a hard day One needed the chair.

Why can't she sit in your chair?

Because, that's where our stolen money is counted at night.

No way is she sitting in my comfortable chair.

Alright, said Two, she can sit in Three’s chair, I’m sure Three won’t mind.

Two said, get me rope to tie her up.

They tied her up to the chair and after some time it collapsed and broke.

Oh no, said Two, she will escape.

Catch her, One.

Patricia ran upstairs trying to escape, but One was very quick and was able to catch her.

One wrapped around her and brought her to the bed and said, sit down or I will get really mad.

Two slithered upstairs to see if she had gotten away.

Thank goodness, said Two, I'm glad she didn't get away.

Guard her One, don't let her get away, because I have to take Three to daycare.

Don't let her out of your sight One.

Go Two, I've got it under control, One said.

Two left the house to take Three to daycare.

Don't even think about moving Patricia, yelled One.

She said, oh no, I wouldn't leave this comfortable bed.

Why don't you come here and try it out, it really is comfy, she said.

OK, said One, but just for a little while.

The bed was so comfortable that One fell right to sleep.

Yes, she thought, this is my chance to call for help.

She went downstairs to her phone and called 911.

The operator said, 911, what’s your emergency?

She said she is being held hostage in three crazy serpent’s home and she doesn’t know what to do.

We've got the address and we are on the way, the voice on the phone said.

Patricia ran back upstairs and got back into bed.

She woke One from sleep.

You dozed off, she said.

Thank you, said One, I'm glad you woke me, otherwise you could have escaped.

Oh, I would never do that, she said.

About that time Two got home with Three and slithered upstairs to see if everything was OK.

Everything is fine, One said.

She hasn't budged.

But why isn’t Three at daycare?

Three forgot the toy human and we had to come back to get it.

Three came back into the room with the toy human.

At just that moment the downstairs door burst open.

The police ran upstairs with guns in their hands.

What seems to be the problem officer, One asked.

This girl here says that you are holding her hostage, the police said in unison.

Two said, that is crazy, why would we do that?

This girl is our guest, this girl is our guest, this girl is our guest, the three serpents sang.

We had her over for lunch, we had some leftover mice.

Paul III writes a story in the present. He would like to invent a device that records smell so he could play it back for

you. Should he wait until she comes out the door? We embrace and our future together dies. He looks all around but

they vanished. The story ends and so he came home. Earlier this morning he walked into the stall and someone had

traced their tongue on the wall and wrote beside it, is this a good size?

Paul V. reads his story. He took pictures of it. She reads it slowly, but he never saw her reading it. When he was in

community college there was a girl named Michelle. She wonders if she understands it. He wonders if she wants to

understand it. It is a sad, beautiful story, but he does not feel like crying. He photographed these words before he

gave them to her. As you sat across the room no one else seemed to matter. Sketching the body that sat beside me

all I could notice was you. Without a word spoken I felt I had known you all my life.

What we shall never know, he writes. Paul V. gave her the poem the day she was leaving for New Orleans. What I

want, he thought, is to write a story. That man that was walking towards him with the cane looked at Paul V. but when

Paul V. looked at him he started walking away. But before he wrote the story he wanted to know why his mother

looked at him that way. Am I a monster, he thought? She looked at him with shame. He wants to exude hugs. Did she

look at him with wonder? He hoped his teeth would fall out of his head so he could replace them with 24 carat gold,

rubies and sapphires. Did she look at him with fury? Even though she would be the only one who would ever see his

replacement teeth. He looks now at his daughter, that resilient woman who sits in a chair for a brief moment before

she gets up again to do more than can be done. That is, unless he started stripping away his skin. He looks at her

with awe and indignation. He remembers he was fed hazelnuts, which he is allergic to. How beautiful you were

standing over him as his throat closed. He went outside and took a cold shower because the world was getting purple

and he felt like he was going to pass out. He rested on the dead grass. He thought she is as beautiful as his mother

was and how they will be together during the technological singularity. Remember? He yelled, he found the dog

without a name. But he thought to himself, if this dog was inside the whole time whose dog were they chasing?

Maybe this canine friend was inside the whole time. The dog they were chasing was a phantom. They were hopping

fences and this dog is terrified of them.

He then passed out and called out the names of everyone he has ever loved. Adorations and animosities while driven

to the emergency room, hungry for health insurance that he did not have. Does anyone feel pity? He wanted to join

the military just so he could legally kill someone? Oh, he pitied himself. Canes and crutches. If he lost his legs in

combat would he have to bury them? Well, he and Michelle worked together and had met a few times before. One of

the first times they spent time together was when he went to get some soup but instead went and ordered a Scotch.

Oh, how he admired himself. After drinking that, he went and drank some Sake and ordered some really expensive

sushi. He admired himself in the mirror. In the timeworn taciturnity of complicity, he poured the rest of the Sake into a

Styrofoam cup which he wasn’t supposed to do and went back to her house.

It is their anger that tells him how to tell the story. Her face was naked on the bed. They were beautiful supplements.

He could see her from the door. They will not do more than can be done. She puts clothes back on her face and lets

him in. Will they deceive each other? As he was leaving he said, don’t worry, he wouldn’t hurt her. He is writing the

story of how we all will walk in the woods. He had just basically met her. She will open the door and they will walk up

the stairs without speaking.

At this moment I’m writing this story in the future and all the time I write I will be at home, where I have always been.

Traveling anywhere from my chair. It was because of the look you gave me that we knew where to find each other. I

could tell you seemed frightened by my presence. You said that I was lucky that you don’t scare very easy or you

would have never talked to me again. The funny thing is that you went to buy soup to save money but you ended up

spending $62.98. A story about after they left her house, after she had sex last night. We were driving and a purse is

sitting in the middle of the street. We drive forward and notice that the purse is attached by fishing line and it is slowly

being pulled. Who is pulling the string? We get very scared and start screaming which frightens her even more. We

drive around the block again and the purse is still there. We pull up to the purse and open the door and as soon as

we reach for it the purse drags across the concrete. Three serpents slither from inside of the purse. Snow starts to fall

on the windshield as we drive away because we are afraid for our lives.

Sorry, I couldn’t stay awake

I really wanted to stay awake until you got back.

Sit next to me. Let’s rest our heads on these nice hotel pillows.

What? Tell me about it. Really?

I’m sorry.

I missed you too.

I missed you so much.

Tell me about your day.

Really? You’re beautiful too.

I’m glad you’re here with me now.

Just relax and be with me.

I like having someone to cuddle with.

I haven’t been getting much sleep lately either.

I’m glad you’re here with me now.

Just relax and be with me.

You make me so happy. (kisses camera)

I haven’t been getting much sleep lately either.

I like having someone to cuddle with.

I’m glad you’re here with me now.

Just relax and be with me.

You make me so happy. (kisses camera)

I haven’t been getting much sleep lately either.

But I like having someone to cuddle with.

I want to kiss you too. (kisses camera and smiles)

That was nice.

I’m glad you’re here with me now.

Just relax and be with me.

You make me so happy.

I haven’t been getting much sleep lately either.

But I like having someone to cuddle with.

I want to kiss you too. (kisses camera and smiles)

That was nice.

You’re cute.

OK baby I know.

Just rest.

Just think about me and don’t worry about your day.

Goodnight. (smiles)

Goodnight. (kisses camera and closes eyes)

You can’t sleep?

Are you OK?

Did you have a nightmare?

You don’t need to think about that now, OK, you don’t need to think about that right now.

Maybe some kisses would help?

I think so too. (kisses)

I’m here.

I’m right here.

You are so special to me.

Sh.

I care about you so much.

Do you remember when we met? (kisses)

Can you sleep now?

No, why not?

I’m right here.

Just relax, I’m right here.

Just listen to my words.

You are allowed to sleep.

You are allowed to relax.

You deserve to get a good night’s rest.

Do you remember when we met? (kisses)

Can you sleep now?

No, why not?

You don’t need to worry about that now.

Just close your eyes and listen to my words.

You’re allowed to sleep.

Can you sleep now?

No, why not?

You don’t need to worry about that now.

Just close your eyes and listen to my words.

You’re allowed to sleep.

You’re allowed to relax.

You deserve to get a good night’s sleep.

I’m right here. (kisses)

Do you need more blanket?

Here sweetheart.

That’s better. (kiss)

I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere and I’m not going to leave.

I’m right here with you.

Relax, breathe with me.

I’m here for you I promise.

Are you asleep yet?

Just look into my eyes and you’re going to fall asleep.

Don’t worry, you’re gonna fall asleep.

You’re gonna get really rested.

Just close your eyes. (kiss)

I’m so tired. (kiss)

I’m so sleepy.

Go to sleep. (kiss)

I’m so tired.

I’m so sleepy. (kiss)

Go to sleep.

Come here.

Sh.

It’s OK.

You’ll be OK.

Close your eyes.

Sit next to me as we age together.

September Diencephalon

Three Serpents Virtual Friend Simulation Service

2018

Did you like watching with me? Why are your eyes protected in a white membrane and why are two of your four arms

cut off? I’ve asked my mom for a Friend for over a year now. She finally agreed. She ordered one online for me from

Three Serpents Virtual Friend Simulation Service. Their website said it would take about a month for my Friend to

arrive and guess what? I just opened the Amazon box and turned my Friend on! My Friend looks real! I got out my

magnifying glass to look closer but it’s missing glass.

I’ve just watched my new Friend look into the mirror and apply old age makeup. My Friend told me they wear it every

day. I wonder why my Friend pretends to be older than they are? Before bedtime, I took the Amazon box outside and

got my mom’s lighter and burned the box. Before it burned completely, I put out the fire and saved a piece of the box.

I left it in the sunlight to fade.

Sorry, I know I’ve been bad about writing each day. Sometimes I don’t feel like I have anything to say. Am I made of

clay? My Friend and I saw an anthill outside today. Ants started to come out of the anthill and we started to talk about

war. I found out my Friend is anti-war, just like me! We go back into the house and ask my mom to make Ants on a

Log and puce soup. The celery was smooth, like they were young. This peanut butter here and that peanut butter

there were both smooth, like they were young. The raisins were smooth, like they were young. I started to laugh. I

thought about the ants speaking to us, “please, please, please, please don’t fight in foreign wars.” The ants carry the

wounded back to the nest. “The United States of America doesn’t care about you so don’t become a soldier.” I

laughed so hard I spit out a raisin! My mom opened a can of puce soup and turned it upside down. As it fell, the puce

soup turned solid and started to bleed.

Today has been so much fun! Probably the best day of my whole life! My Friend and I talked and talked before I fell

asleep and I wondered what it would be like to be an adult. My need, or I guess I should say my want for a Friend all

started when I first watched Sit next to me as we age together. I wanted. I wanted a Friend. But I still wonder why a

hologram would want to look older? I love my Friend so much! Talk to you later!

I had a nightmare about fleas last night and this morning my mom found my Band-Aid collection next to the toy ball of

the Sun I played with as a baby. No, I don’t play with it now in case you were wondering. Mom was pretty mad at me!

She didn’t understand why I collected Band-Aids. Guess what? I met someone at school and guess what? We

kissed! After my Friend applied their old age makeup we started to make a home movie with my mom’s Keystone

Model A-9 16mm movie, movie, movie camera, which is so much fun! Mom showed us how the camera worked. I

also got my magnifying glass without the glass and my old toy ball of the Sun and we went outside. I started to film

my Friend. Making memories is the most important thing in my opinion. The magnifying glass without the glass

started to blow up like a balloon! We start to walk back to my house but we can never reach it. What happens when

you become a disembodied voice to the one you love? The house is always in the distance. We can never reach it

and we can’t go inside. Three serpents sing, “you’ll be OK, you’ll be OK, you’ll be OK.”